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A new study published in the journal Personality and Social
Psychology Bulletin looked at dating dealbreakers—those irritating or offensive
or otherwise unacceptable things that kill our desire for a relationship with
someone—and how they vary between men and women.
Researchers combined data from six studies (looking at a
total of 6,500 people's dating preferences). For the most part, "Dealbreakers
were associated with undesirable personality traits," with "disheveled"
"lazy" and "needy" being the top three named by both men
and woman, according to the study. Dealbreakers also centered around unhealthy
lifestyles and having different sexual and romantic goals. Women had more
dealbreakers than men (or, at the least, weighed them more heavily) and people
with higher mate value (translation: who considered themselves a catch and a
half) also tended to have more dealbreakers. Not surprising, right?
When it comes to casual, short-term relationships, the
Wall Street Journal reports that only three main dealbreakers came up
consistently: “has health issues, such as STDs,” “smells bad” and “has poor hygiene."
“Basically, for short-term partners, if they have a toothbrush, they’re good to
go,” Gregory Webster, associate professor of social psychology at the University of Florida, told the WSJ. We like to think
we're a bit more discerning than that, but research is research.
When looking for a more serious partner or a longer-term
relationship, sex was a top dealbreaker for both men and women, but with a
crucial difference: The WSJ reports that men found "low sex drive" to
be a major dealbreaker, but that more women said "bad sex" was a no-go
for them. It would seem that men are happy if they're getting it regularly, while
would place more importance on the quality of the sex.
Do you agree? Would you be happier having sex less often
if it was amazing, or would you rather get it almost every day but settle for
so-so sex? Or, do you hold out for the partner that likes to have sex as often
as you do and knocks your socks off every time?
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